In Memory of Deri


In Memory of Deri

I remember the day that I first saw you like it was yesterday. It was a cool late autumn day, back in Latvia, Riga where you and I were born. Mama and Papa finally decided to go see some pups....As I picked you up in my arms you gently nibbled on my shoulder; I fell in love with you immediately. On the streetcar when we were heading home we were deciding on a good name for you; a name as unique as you. We were both pups at the time; you were like my sister and nothing less. You were always smart, loyal and just amazing. You were my pride and joy. I remember the hard times you and I went through together. When our family was immigrating to the US; we had to stay with my relatives without mom and dad for 8 months. I remember how no one cared about us, we cared for each other, we were still young pups at the time, and you were only 2. I came to the US first but immigration complications would not allow Mama, Papa and me to bring you there. I hung on, until we brought you to us. That was a happy day, you looked so skinny but it was ok you were with us, it didn't take long for you to recover. Seven or eight years later hard times came again, immigration complications. We had to leave the US so we applied to Canada and we were welcomed with open arms. As we approached the border, more complications came along. We were stressed and so were you, I guess this brought back bad memories, but I know you were there for me and I saw it in your eyes that you wanted to tell me "this time I will not let you go", I felt the same. Finally, here in Canada things started to look up. Mama, Papa, you and I were all so happy; all those great day-long walks that you and I went on. About a year later your health started to diminish. I remember how you got that one terrible infection and Mama said that she felt that this was a bad sign, but I didn't believe her because the veterinarian prescribed antibiotics and they cured it. This was the time when I started to save up for college. About a few months later you started to cry a lot and became sad and lost your appetite; something was wrong. One morning I woke up and saw your eyes. I immediately rushed you to the vet. And my worst nightmare came true. She said “I'm sorry your dog is very sick; she needs surgery or she will die”. I rushed you to the emergency vet. Mama was crying and so was Papa. The doctor said that the surgery will cost us lots of money; I didn't care, my tuition would have covered it. After a few tests the doctor said that your heart would not be able to handle this surgery and you provably will not make it. Worst nightmare comes true. I refused to lose you. The doc gave us some pills to pull you through for few more months. Things started to look up in the first few weeks, but then everything just got worse. I remember that morning each time it rains the same way like it did then. It was a May 22, rainy and disgusting morning. I looked at you, skin and bones every single bone was visible on you. You could not even walk any more. I looked into your eyes and I could see pain and I saw it there you knew that this was the day, you could not hang on, and you knew you had to let go. I tried to hold the tears back; I did not want to scare you. It was time, I went with you to the vets; I was not going to leave you until you went. There we were, I had my arms around you, you were not afraid, you knew. All the sudden you just fell into my arms and that was it. I cried for you for weeks and so did Mama and Papa. I did not know what to do with out you, I felt like my life was pointless without you, I felt that there is no me without you. We were one and there was no other way. I realized though that that's not the way you would want it to be. I know that you wanted me to help Mama and Papa and you would want me to be strong just like you were. And that's what I tried to do and be. I will never as pure of a heart or soul as you are but I can try.

We will never forget you and we will love you forever. Thank you for everything you have been and thank you for everything you have done. Without you I could never be the person that I am today, I've learned a lot from you. I will never know or have a friend like you, you could see deep into me without me even saying a word. You could listen to me without judgment or saying anything but just listening. You could tell me you cared just by putting your head on my lap and looking into my eyes. You could speak to me without saying a word. You protected me many times from harm. I can go on and on but the best way to describe you is but just saying that you were the purest heart and soul, you were sent to us from above. We will always love you and no one can replace you, you will always be one and only.

Miss you; Love you always, Mama, Papa, Oksana